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Coming Up

If we don't do want we cannot do, it's ok. But if we don't do what we can do, it's a waste of life.

At the intro meeting for Anandha Ala. 

I was sick, and pathetically miserable a couple of days ago. So miserable that I was not able to do my practice. I would sit on the yoga mat and cry. Quite pathetic. 

The third evening of this nonsense, I was sitting with my eyes shut, unable to move and with no will to do anything. In one moment, something lifted. It almost felt physical. I opened my eyes... I felt ok, something fell into place and I felt a beautiful desire to do my practices. 

Something I saw in a video a long time ago and have thought about often... and experienced.

"It doesn't matter if you are on the other side of the planet. Or sitting next to me. The proximity has nothing to do with physical distance. It is how closely you embrace it that makes a difference. Someone might be sitting right next to me, and wont feel much... and someone a thousand kilometers away, just a thought of their guru can make them explode.

I'm intimately and passionately involved with thousands of people - people who have not met me in person."

Soul mates?

Q: Why is it that we connect deeper with some people and not so much with others? We live in the same society, but with some we connect more and with others less.

Sadhguru says:

What you call as yourself is nothing more than an accumulation of prejudices. When you come across people who don't look like you, dress like you, think like you and all that, you don't allow yourself to relate to them.

Today, choose the people who you find difficult to be with. And just be with them.

It will be a tremendous experience, and will mature you.

Lesson on love

Afrin says:

"Oh, I've too much love to give. I can love unconditionally, I want to love unconditionally... but nobody wants my love. I'm still waiting to find someone to be able to give all this endless love to."

Sadhguru says:

"Why are you being stingy with your love? You think you are saving your love for something? Give love to everyone you meet - is there a limit to how much you can love? Is anyone going to stop you from being loving?"

Yea, so there. Rickshawalas. Bosses at work. Person who wishes I'd never been born. Beggar on street. Eveteaser. Murderer. Politician. Terrorist. If I meet you, I won't judge you. I'll have some compassion and love. And I'll just wish that you learn soon. One way or the other, you'll learn. The only question is when - this lifetime or a hundred after.

Easy lesson for me to learn - because there was a day when I hated who I was. And what I'd done. And couldn't believe I'd gone so far out of control. So yes, loving I'll be. To everyone.

Seeing Him

I was at Spanda Hall for BSP.

Sadhguru was on the ashram the first night I was there. We didn't get to see him. I was aching and longing to be in his presence. But the volunteers would chuckle and say, he's always with us.

The third night..

The fire reached into the sky.
The flames eating our bonds.
Finally free, we danced on the grass, barefoot. Bare naked.

Someone gasped and I looked,
he came out of the light, a dance in his step.

He stood there - a stillness of such magnitude.
In one instant we exploded.

A sob escaped my throat
And then a tear rolled down his cheek.


___

I couldnt believe that he had really come. He casually glanced, and acknowledged how deeply he was aware of what was going on at that gathering... The group cheered out in celebration..

But in 2 seconds... of silence... and the overwhelming power of Him being there, then.. right after what we'd experienced the past 2 days, I was sobbing without knowing what was happening. And so were others.

My eyes fixed on him, I saw tears roll down his cheeks.

He gestured for us to follow him and sit around him. Like hungry children, the group sat around him. He wiped the tears off his face.

He spoke for a minute. Gazed into everyone's eyes. When he looked at me, I don't understand what happened.. or can't explain.

We floated around the rest of the night, on an unexpected cloud. A gift from him. Another gift.